general disappointment and too much food

had a bbq scheduled for tonight...prepped food for 10 guests, all of whom cancelled. even the ones who were definitely-for-sure-rsvp-yes coming with their kids. sitting alone with a soggy salad and four pounds of raw meat wondering why. i was half-tempted to go knocking on doors asking strangers to come to my lonely dinner, but instead i believe i'll chalk it up to experience and never plan for anything ever again. there's a difference between being alone and being lonely, but right now, i'm both. and it sucks and i'm angry and i think i should take Lola for a walk to clear my head before i start breaking things.