Gratitude

Rough day at work left me feeling like a whiny baby. Decided to start reading this daily meditation book that's been collecting dust for some time now. Today's entry was about gratitude and it was the answer to my bratty day. This is from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie.

August 1

Say thank you, until you mean it.

Thank God, life, and the universe for everyone and everything sent your way.

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. It turns problems into gifts, failures into successes, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events. It can turn an existence into a real life, and disconnected situations into important and beneficial lessons. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow

Gratitude makes things right.

Gratitude turns negative energy into positive energy. There is no situation or circumstance so small or large that it is not susceptible to gratitude's power. We can start with who we are and what we have today, apply gratitude, then let it work its magic.

Say thank you, until you mean it. If you say it long enough, you will believe it.

Lies, Lies and More Lies!

Confession time. I've been stewing about it all day, and I've decided to get it off my chest. I lied a terrible lie today. It was a random, horrible lie, and I don't even know where it came from. There was no real motive behind it, it just sort of happened. A creepy man started hitting on me at the restaurant. He hits on everyone, and I knew it was coming. He was asking me a bunch of questions, one of which was, "So...what does your husband do?" -- a leading question, and I knew he was waiting for me to say, "I don't have a husband." Instead, I opened my mouth, and said, "My husband died." Immediately, I was trapped. You can't say, "Just kidding," after something like that. You can't break character. You can't really, do anything. Except follow the lie into a swirling mass of followup lies to add substance and detail to the original lie. He apologized, and asked how old he was. I said, "35. Pancreatic cancer. It was devastating." At this point, my internal organs have begun to revolt against my body, not wanting to be in the same room with me. I don't even want to be in the same room with me. He apologized again, and started telling me about a friend of his who knew a guy who had cancer. Eventually, he took his seat and didn't say another word to me. I have been sick about it all day. I don't know what the f*ck compelled me make something up so hideous, but I did, and I can't take it back, and I dread seeing this man ever again for fear that he'll bring it up, and I'll be forced to either fall back into a terrible, pointless lie or own up to a heartless concoction. Meh, gross, ick. I need a shower.